1. "Men would have to talk to their wives and girlfriends in the winter."
2. "We wouldn't get to witness a man in tight pants doing a dance."
3. "Most men in America would spend their Sundays at IKEA looking at furniture."
4. "Friday Night Lights would just be me staring upwards in the Walmart parking lot."
5. "A lot of chickens would still have their wings."
6. "Marching band would be the coolest activity in high school." Although, let's be honest, that STILL wouldn't be true. There were a LOT of nerds sharing that fantasy though. Another Tweeted, quote, "The debate team would have cheerleaders."
7. "Being under center would be a sexual position."
8. "Very few of us would know what Janet Jackson's [breasts] look like."
9. "Would Americans still call soccer . . . 'soccer'?"
10. "Madden Volleyball 2018 would be on my Christmas list."
11. "Joe Montana would sound like a porn name."
12. "I wouldn't be wearing jockstraps at the age of 40."
13. "Thanksgiving would be even more awkward."
14. "I'd probably see a lot less patients with concussions."
15. And perhaps most importantly, Marcia Brady wouldn't have gotten beaned in the face with a football RIGHT before her big date with Doug!!! And remember, Marcia broke her date with Charley for Doug, because he was a FOOTBALL STAR.
So if football didn't exist, Marcia probably would have gone on that date with Charley . . . and who knows how far Charley would have gotten? Poor Charley.