The Top Reasons Rednecks Love Christmas

Santa divides his list between nice and naughty.  Not nice and diabetic.

That red nose in the sky makes for fun target practice with a crossbow.

Mistletoe + Sister = Hot Make Out Session.

You can arrange your collection of taxidermy animals into a quaint manger scene.

There's just something magical about watching Santa try to land on a roof, while dodging meth lab explosions.

A jolly fat guy with a beard and beloved catchphrase?  Duh . . . he's Santa the Cable Guy!

Candy canes are easier to slurp when you're toothless.

They get to finally turn those colorful lights decorating their house all year back on.

Spittoons make a great base for Christmas trees. 

Four words:  Eggnog and Boone's Farm.

Their wife-daughter only requires one stocking.

The Confederate flag looks so beautiful on top of the tree.

Who DOESN'T love a stocking filled with wife-beaters and Coors Light?

If the trap they set on their roof works as planned, it's reindeer stew for weeks!

If they're not having fun at a Christmas party, they can just drive their home to the next one.

Christmas is the one day of the year having loud, drunken fights with your relatives doesn't make you a pariah, so much as a regular American.

All that snow turns their entire yard into a Pabst Blue Ribbon cooler!

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